Thursday, December 17, 2009

My wedding day

Last night I had the most weird dream ever.

It was my wedding day, and my mom and this other woman were dressing me up. My dress was horrible, and there was all those pieces that had to be worn individually. I was crying so much. I was desperate. Sad, very sad.

Time goes by, the dressing drama is still happening, and I was feeling each time more suffocated with the whole situation. I run away, and leave all the people behind. My mom was yelling at me saying I was crazy. I woke up.

Didn't see my "future husband" on my dream. I woke up feeling relief.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My last vacation in a nutshell


So, last week I came back from vacation. I was traveling for two weeks, starting in Ibiza, where I had some good parties, nice moments with friends, sun, sea and all good things.

After that I came back to Zurich, where I met my father, my uncle and my cousing, who came visiting from Brazil. We took my car and went in a road trip, starting in Paris, where I had the nice opportunity to meet Luiz, a friend of mine who I haven't seen in the past years. I also used the time my relatives went to the tower to get a haircut and new hair color ;)

After that, we headed to Bruges, in Belgium, which turned to be a very nice surprise. We walked around the city as usual, and then went to a pub that had more than 100 kinds of beers. We didn't manage to try more than 20.

From Bruges, we went to Cologne, which unfortunately has not much than the Cathedral to see. The city was almost completely destroyed by the II World War, and seems to have been rebuilt in a not interesting architectural style. Oh well...

Next was Berlin, which is still my favorite town in Europe. beautiful, historical, cultural, friendly people, Berlin is a place where I would live, I think. I had a great time at Hanne am Zoo, which is a soccer themed pub. We met the owner, gave him an Internacional shirt, took pictures, and had lots of beers. Now the Internacional shirt is part of the bar's decoration. In the last night there I met Torsten, and we had a nice chat while having beers and watching Bayern München X Haifa. There was also this crazy bar called KLO by the side of our hotel. Crazy decoration, very friendly staff.

Prague was the last "tourist" activity. I have to say that I was a bit tired of the walking thing, so I didn't really make the best of ouf the town. It has potential, I have to say. The architecture is insane. There is no spot in town that you don't think is crazy beautiful, and their old town is dated of the 15th century. I had the impression people were not as friendly as the Berliners, but well, maybe that was just my impression.

After Prague, I went to Munich, where I met part of the Ibiza crew, and some other people for a good time at the Oktoberfest. They only sell beers in glasses of 1 liter. The music is awful, but who cares after few liters of beer? It was a lot of fun. I spent two nights in Munich, then took the train back to Zurich Sunday at 8:25am.

After missing a connection in Munich still, I got in the train, and had to change trains in Lindau, which was the final destination. Half drunk hangover nanda sleeps in the train, and when she wakes up, she is in a town she never heard of. Yay! Where did Lindau go? Aparently, the trian I took split in two at some point, and the wagon where I was siting went to this other place, around 200Km away from my original route.

I made it to Zurich around 7pm, which probably should make it to the Records book, since I think I made the longest possible route to get from Munich to Zurich.

Of course there are pictures: here!

Você vai me seguir...

Você vai me seguir aonde quer que eu vá
Você vai me servir, você vai se curvar
Você vai resistir, mas vai se acostumar
Você vai me agredir, você vai me adorar
Você vai me sorrir, você vai se enfeitar
E vem me seduzir
Me possuir, me infernizar
Você vai me trair, você vem me beijar
Você vai me cegar e eu vou consentir
Você vai conseguir enfim me apunhalar
Você vai me velar, chorar, vai me cobrir
e me ninar...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

You sent me flying

Lent you outsidaz and my new Badu
While you were thinking I didn't have a clue
Tough to sort files with your voice in my head
So then I bribed you downstairs with a malboro red
So now I feel so small discovering you knew
How much more torture would you have put me through?
You probably saw me laughing at all your jokes
Or how I did not mind when you stole all my smokes

And although my pride is not easily disturbed
You sent me flying when you kicked me to the kerb
With you battered jeans and your beastie tee
Now I can't work like this with you next to me

And although he is nothing in the scheme of my years
It just serves to blugdeon my futile tears
And I'm not use to this, I observe, I don't chase
So now I'm stuck with consequences, thrust in my face
And the melodramas of my day delivery blows
That surpass your rejection it just goes to show
A simple attraction that reflects right back to me
So I'm not as into you as I appear to be

And although my pride's not easily disturbed
You sent me flying when you kicked me to the kerb
With you battered jeans and your beastie tee
Now I can't work like this with you next to me

His message was brutal but the delivery was kind
Maybe if I get this down I'll get it off my mind
It serves to condition me and smoothen mi kinks
Despite my frustation for the way that he thinks
And I knew the truth, when it came, would be to that effect
At least you're attracted to me which I did not expect
Didn't think you get my number down and such
But I never hated myself for my age so much

And although my pride's not easily disturbed
You sent me flying when you kicked me to the kerb
With you battered jeans and your beastie tee
Now I can't work like this with you next to me

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The world on my shoulders

In the past weeks I felt like the world was siting on my shoulders. And believe me, the world is heavy!

I had way too many different things to deal with, and spent a lot of energy to make small moves. I think those days are over.

Today I have a big presentation at my work, that I have been preparing for the past month or so. This was one of the heavy things I was carrying on.

I always try to get the best possible done, and whenever I am doing something new that I don't have comparison parameters, I get the feeling I am not doing enough. So I redo things over and over again, just to get to the conclusion it doesn't look much different than the first time. And people around me think the result is great. But I don't agree.

Today is also the first FSFE Fellowship meeting in Zurich after I got elected vice-president, I'm going there straight from my presentation in the afternoon.

Besides work, everything is nice. I am feeling like a new version of myself: waking up early, having fun, going regularly to the gym. Life is good, heart is calm, friends are great!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My moon my man

My moon, my man
So changeable and
Such a loveable lamb to me

My care, my coat
Leave on a high note
There's nowhere to go but on

Heart on my sleeve
Not where it should be
The song's out of key again

My moon's white face
What day and what phase
It's the calendar page again

Take it slow
Take it easy on me
And shed some light
Shed some light on me please
Take it slow
And shed some light
Shed some light on me please

My moon and me
Not as good as we've been
It's the dirtiest clean I know

My care, my coat
Leave on a high note
There's nowhere to go
There's nowhere to go

Take it slow
Take it easy on me
And shed some light
Shed some light on me please
Take it slow
And shed some light
Shed some light on me please

My moon my moon my man
My moon my moon my man
My moon my moon my man
My moon my moon my man

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Bianca Story

Two weeks ago I saw a band playing at Heldenbar, in Zurich. They are called The Bianca Story. One of the my friends, in the occasion, decided to buy CDs from them, and I told him I wanted to copy it.

Well, turns out that I forgot about the CDs until today, and then decided to check whether the band had a website, and who knows, maybe they allow you to download their songs!

Few Google minutes later, I found their website, and guess what? Their CD is there, for download! So, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, and now do, occasionally when my shuffle hits their album.

And I love they have statements like "You have all rights to share this song with your friends." in their website.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The little things give you away...

In terms of music, I have to say that I'm a little picky. Maybe not only with music, but anyway. I woke up today thinking, what do people look for in music?

I ask people around what they look for when listening to some music, and get different answers. Most of the time related to the rhythm. Some people are more into lyrics.

When I am listening to music, I also look for lyrics. Can be even a single verse that would say something to me, or a full story that the particular song is telling me. And it needs to have a very good music behind it.

Sometimes I just feel that I hate on things people in general love, like U2, for instance. I actually have a trauma from the past, when a friend of mine would wake up everyday singing "Lemon" in my bedroom. I don't like U2, and I don't like how they lobby for restricting even more the ridiculous copyright enforcements laws and treats around the globe. It is like "oh, I saved Africa, now can you please help me to put people in jail for downloading music?". Same for Metalica. Same for Coldplay, which was one of the first bands to release DRM enabled (and not CD standard compliant) album.

In Brazil, there was Marisa Monte. I really loved her, but then she released her last two albuns DRM enabled, and my love started to fade.

Anyway, I really love to try new music. I have been looking for new sounds, and new lyrics, and new experiences in music. A lot. For me, life need to have a soundtrack. I think I already talked about it in an earlier post.

A few days ago, I felt like an alien, because a friend was telling me how excited he was because he managed to get a couple of tickets to the sold out "Linkin Park" concert. And I could not relate to that AT ALL. I would like to have seen my own face in that moment. Sort of "what the hell is that" face. Linkin Park? Who are they? People said "listen to the music, you'll recognize some stuff, they are really popular". There I went. But, as one of their own lyrics say "Don't want to reach for me, do you? I mean nothing to you". They don't.

The thing is, if my life has soundtrack, it is very unlikely it will be some music that has lyrics that I can't understand or relate to.

I have been listening to Jamie Lidell. He sounds good, and his lyrics are great. So, Jamie Lidell it is, for today:

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

I used to always... I would wake up all day
Only to find there's nothing more to say

Now I'm letting silence to the talking
Now I'm letting silence to the walking

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

I used to scream when a whisper would do
Only wanted yours, all over you

Now I'm letting silence to the talking
Now I'm letting silence to the walking

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

Another day, another way
For me to open up to you

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Nice shot




me and Andre Franciosi, taken by my friend Marlon Dutra...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Time for feedback

Right after FISL, it is usually time to receive a lot of acknowledgments for organizing such a great conference. It is really cool to get those, they work like gasoline on fire to help our motivation increase and get us into organizing the next one. Most of those positive feedback we get through e-mail. They e-mail one of the organizers and we try to make sure we spread the news among all the team, so everybody get a little of the praise.

Other people try to make sure they point out the bad things they saw during the conference. Usually I don't answer them, unless I get the messages directly. But I have to say that I find it at least interesting to see that, usually the bad feedback is not sent by e-mail to the organizers, but posted in blogs and community websites. Those are also important because we can have an insight on what to improve, when it makes sense.

I would like to thank all people for all feedback, even though I would prefer to see the bad feedback coming straight to us. I am pretty sure that even though we try to read around a lot, it is very likely we missed some of the posts, or some not so popular website, or even a website we usually don't read.

Who knows? Maybe next year we'll have a FISL that will make more people happy than this year :)

Friday, July 3, 2009

One more FISL

My voice isn't back yet. I am still in cold Porto Alegre trying to recover from one of the most great, crazy, tiring and astonishing experiences in my life as a Free Software activist: FISL10.

The event had everything. We had Kernel hackers talking about pure technical aspects, Peter Sunde who is a co-founder of The Pirate Bay, Lula, president of Brazil, Richard Stallman, the founder of Free Software movement.

I don't think most of our public knows, but the core of FISL team doesn't make a single cent making the conference happen. We only have 2 full time employees at Associacao Software Livre.org.

The first day was the day to deal with surprises. Few rooms were full, and we tried to make sure we would have a solution for this problem: stream the talks to one of our spare rooms, and make sure that, at least ~100 people would be able to watch the talks. This year, the popular technical sessions were security-related talks.

In the second day we managed to get this scheme to work, so we could re-direct people to building 40 when 41's rooms were full.

The third day was Lula's Day. Yes, we managed to get the president to accept our invitation, where he spoke about Free Software and the law project that aims to regulate internet in Brazil, known as Azeredo's Law Project.

I think most of our people didn't understand the reasoning, or the value, of having the President at the conference. Some just got upset because of the limited access to the exhibition hall. I was in touch with most of our international speakers, and they were astonished: we did what never, anyone managed to do. We got a president to speak in a Free Software conference.

The forth day, to be very honest, was just party. The last day is the most relaxed, but is also the day we have no energy left, and a lot of occasions during the day I felt like I needed just to sit down in a corner and cry. Cry of exhaustion, sadness, pain in my legs, happiness...

Now, each time I speak too much I feel like throwing up, because it is just too much effort. My vocal chords are exhausted. I am still recovering. I still ask myself why did I do that to myself. I still can't explain, but I would do it again. I will do it again once more, next year.

I am glad I met Elizabeth, Ryan, Peter, Marc, and many other people I don't recall the name, but I am very good with faces, and I hope to see you all next year for FISL11. But I will be just one more speaker at the conference then.

Blog post on president at FISL: here.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Once in a while

From bad luck, I'm walkin' away
I'm not gettin' stuck, I'm not gonna stay
To good things, I'm movin' ahead
I'm tired of dyin' an' I'm livin' instead

Once in a while I'll wake up
Wonderin' why we gave up?
But once in a while
Comes and it fades away

The sun's up and lightin' the sky
I never could see it, it just passed me by
Good things keep movin' along
I'm not lookin' backward for something that's gone

Once in a while I'll wake up
Wonderin' why we gave up?
But once in a while
Comes and fades away

I don't know what love is? I'm selfish and lazy
And when I get scared, I can act like I'm crazy
When I think of your kisses, I'm still gonna smile
I'm still gonna miss you once in a while

Once in a while I'll wake up
Wonderin' why we gave up?
But once in a while
Comes and it fades away

Good things keep movin' ahead
I'm tired of dyin', I'm livin' instead

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Jazz up your day

I've never been a Jazz person. But I have to admit that I am becoming one.

I always loved Brazilian music, specially because of the lyrics, but also because its a kind of music that you can listen always. Lyrics for me are very important, and we have so many good song writers in Brazil. Interpretation is also very important. I like to feel the music, and if the person singing it doesn't feel it herself, then you can be sure that singer is not playing again in my player.

Life has soundtrack, I always say. My life, a person who grown up with music all around, its gotta have a freaking awesome soundtrack! :)

Ok, back to the Jazz. I've been trying to find new singers that I would listen to. New music that would bring away the feeling that I have that most of my favorite singers/bands or are retired, or are dead. Makes me feel bad to think that my life's soundtrack is limited for lack of new material.

I was introduced last year to last.fm by a friend. I have to say that I find that website/service pretty awesome! And was exactly last.fm that put me in touch with some really good Jazz singers, like Melody Gardot. I have also been listening to Madeleine Peyroux, found by Herman while travelling in Oboke, Japan. Ayo is also really good, but she is more of a Blues, Folk singer.

Next July, I am going to Montreux Jazz Festival to see Melody and Madeleine singing live. I am sooooo excited!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Feijoada 2009

Almost every year, around this time, I prepare feijoada here in Zurich for some friends. This year wasn't different. The party was awesome, really. So I decided to share the stats, and some photos, in case you're curious....

There will be another version of traditional nanda's feijoada next year, don't worry!

Photos here: http://tinyurl.com/feijnanda09

Some party statistics....

10 liters of feijoada
2 Kg of black beans
1.5 Kg of rice
1Kg of manioc flower
2.5Ks of manioc
2.5Kg of orange
2Kg of cheese bread
5 baguettes
7l of cachaça
1l of whisky
1l of vodka
8l of guaraná
6.5Kg of lime/lemon (yes, all in caipirinha format)
5 dessert plates (did anyone try those? they disappeared sooo fast!)
40 counted people (probably more showed up)
uncountable number of beers...
...during 11 hours of party!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats! You did a great job!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My same

You said I'm stubborn
And I never give in
I think you're stubborn
'Cept you're always softening
You say I'm selfish
I agree with you on that
I think you're giving out
In way too much in fact
I say we've only known
Each other one year

You say I've known
You longer my dear
You like to be so close
I like to be alone
I like to sit on chairs
And you prefer the floor
Walking with each other
Think we'll never
Match at all
But we do (4x)

I thought I knew myself
Somehow you know me more
I've never known this
Never before
You're the first
To make out
Whenever we are two
I don't know who I'd be
If I didn't know you
You're so provocative
I'm so conservative
You're so adventurous
I'm so very cautious
Combining
You think
We would and we do
But we do (3x)

Favouritism
Ain't my thing
But in this situation
I'll be glad

Favouritism
Ain't my thing
But in this situation
I'll be glad
To make an exception

Sunday, March 8, 2009

8 de março

Uma menina, de 9 anos de idade, vinha sido abusada sexualmente pelo seu padrasto. A mãe da menina acabou descobrindo, quando percebeu que sua filha, de 9 anos de idade, estava grávida. A mulher então levou a filha a polícia e ao hospital para que fossem feitos exames necessários. Ainda foi descoberto que o padrasto também estuprava a outra enteada.

A menina, que pesava 37 quilos, poderia morrer se levasse a gravidez adiante. Ela estava gerando duas crianças. No Brasil, aborto somente é permitido por lei em dois casos: risco de morte, ou estupro. Neste caso eram os dois. Em qualquer outro caso, ridiculamente, a mulher pode ser indiciada por "crime de aborto".

Acertadamente, o médico iniciou com remédios para que o processo de aborto começasse. Assim que o aborto aconteceu, o Sr. d. José Cardoso Sobrinho excomungou a mãe da criança, e toda a equipe médica envolvida na decisão e execução do aborto. E foi falar com a mídia, e fez alvoroço sobre a animosidade do ato.

Me envergonha dizer que o alvoroço não era contra o estupro e abuso continuados ao qual a menina vinha sendo submetida. Mas por causa do aborto.

O estuprador é filho de "Deus". Comemorar o que mesmo?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Como encontrar a loja certa?

Alguns posts atrás falei sobre a minha dificuldade em encontrar sapatos para o meu tamanho (36 BRA, 38 EUR) aqui no Japão. Porém comecei a perceber que eu sou a única pessoa que tem esse problema.

Quando eu olho para os pés das japonesas, elas todas parecem estar usando sapatos maiores que os pés! Sério. Eu acho que tenho que mandar elas pra minha loja, e pedir o endereço da loja onde elas compraram os delas :)

A teoria do Herman é que o pé delas é tão pequeno que, mesmo sendo enorme para o tamanho delas, ainda é pequeno demais para o meu tamanho.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Férias no Japão

Tirei 3 dias de férias enquanto estou aqui em Tokio, e fomos viajar em direção a Shikoku, a quarta (creio que em tamanho) das ilhas Japonesas. Foram somente 3 dias, mas deu pra ver bastante coisa.

A primeira parada foi Hiroshima. Ficamos num hotel bem legal que tinha uma vista maravilhosa de um castelo e do Museu de Artes de Hiroshima da nossa janela. A cama era impressionantemente desconfortável, e me rendeu pesadelos a noite toda. Mas enfim, a cidade pareceu bem interessante.

O castelo foi interessante, apesar de não termos entrado (mais por falta de tempo do que de vontade), e depois fomos ver o local onde explodiu a bomba, o A-Bomb Dome. O agora chamado A-Bomb Dome foi o antigo City Hall, e a placa ao lado conta que todas as pessoas que estavam no prédio morreram, porém algumas das paredes ficaram intactas porque o epicentro da bomba foi em cima do local. As fotos da cidade publicada próximas ao monumento são impressionantes de uma forma obviamente triste.

Infelizmente, a cada par de anos eles revisam todos os restos do prédio para verificar as estruturas e tudo, e justamente agora que eu fui lá estava tudo coberto com andaimes de construção. Ao lado tem um parque cheio de monumentos também, o Memorial da Paz. Estranhamente, o sentimento não é pesado naquele parque, como eu esperei que fosse. Pela cidade, você encontra árvores com placas dizendo "A bombed tree willow - X metros do epicentro", e "A-Bombed stone from previous city hall".

Depois de Hiroshima, estive em Matsuyama. Gostei da cidade. Me apaixonei por um restaurante espanhol, chamado Rica Rica. É certamente meu restaurante preferido no Japão. Se um dia eu desaparecer do mapa, sem deixar rastros, talvez eu esteja lá comendo as deliciosas tapas, que nada tinham de espanholas, mas eram deliciosas! O local é super pequeno, porém charmoso. Toca música boa. Tem 3 mesas :)

No primeiro dia que fomos ao Rica Rica, Herman queria comer massa. Ele pediu uma sugestão para o cara, que é o dono do restaurante, e trabalha lá sozinho. O cara perguntou o que ele queria comer, que tipo de pasta, se ele tinha alergias ou coisas que não gostava, e voltou com uma massa bem diferente, estilo japonês, que estava muito boa. 

Depois de vários drinks, eu queria fumar um cigarro. O Herman perguntou pro dono do restaurante, que prontamente me trouxe seu próprio pacote de Marlboro Lights, e deixou junto com um esqueiro em cima da mesa. Bêbada, eu tomei mais umas cervejas, fumei 2 dos cigarros dele, e voltei pro hotel falando besteiras :)

No dia seguinte, lá fomos nós denovo. Assim que entramos, o dono do restaurante nos cumprimentou, nos sentamos na mesma mesa do dia anterior (não que houvesse muitas opções de qualquer modo). Pedimos duas taças de vinho, e lá veio o cara, com sua carteira de Marlboro Light, e para minha tentação, deixou-a em cima da mesa denovo. Achei fofo ele lembrar e querer me agradar, então usei a desculpa de não desapontar ele para fumar meus 2 cigarros da noite. (Não, eu não voltei a fumar, foram só aqueles 2 dias de bebedeira)

Tomamos um vinho francês muito bom, e comemos umas tapas. Caso um dia você passe pelo Rica Rica, peça o tártaro de salmão defumado com abacate. É uma delícia! 

Em Matsuyama também encontrei uma loja com uma seleção muito boa de piercings, onde comprei a bolinha que tinha caído de um dos meus. :)

Bom, além da comida, em Matsuyama visitamos uns parques, e um castelo que fica no topo de uma montanha, que você enxerga da cidade toda. Nós caminhamos até lá em cima! Quase impossível de acreditar, não? :)

No dia seguinte ao vinho e as tapas, pegamos o trem para Oboke, onde passamos nossa última noite de férias num hotel chamado Iya Onsen Hotel. O lugar é maravilhoso!

O nosso quarto era meio estilo japonês, meio ocidental. O banheiro era na sacada, onde tínhamos uma banheira, o chuveiro, e uma segunda banheira para os pés. A visa eram as montanhas e um lago muito azul. Talvez seja muito verde, mas certamente muito lindo. 

Na manhã seguinte, quando acordamos, a surpresa: estava nevando! A paisagem verdinha, azulzinha e ensolarada tinha se transformado em branquinha, mas continuava linda. Infelizmente, game over pra gente, pegamos o trem as 11 da manhã para voltar pra Tokyo. The show must go on :)

Claaaaro que tem fotos.

Monday, February 23, 2009

t-shirts

Have you ever bought a t-shirt with Chinese or Japanese characters in it? Have you ever wondered whether the writing in it makes sense at all? Or maybe it does make some sense, but it wouldn't really be the way Chinese or Japanese people would write something?

Well, I do not speak any Japanese or Chinese, but I think that's most likely the case. Why do I think that? I have been in Tokyo for the past week, and already spent 3 weeks here last year, and one of the things I've noticed is the funny t-shirt texts in English. Their knowledge of English language is probably close to our general knowledge of Japanese, so... you have a mess.

Things like "Behave me", or "All we need it love, is we need", or even "Laughing got tired", are very common here. I already got two of those shirts. They are awesome! :)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Descansa coração

Cansei de tanto procurar
Cansei de não achar
Cansei de tanto encontrar
Cansei de me perder

Hoje eu quero somente esquecer
Quero o corpo sem qualquer querer
Tenhos os olhos tão cansados de te ver
Na memória, no sonho e em vão

Não sei pra onde vou
Não sei
Se vou ou vou ficar
Pensei, não quero mais pensar
Cansei de esperar
Agora nem sei mais o que querer
E a noite não tarda a nascer
Descansa coração e bate em paz

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Minha primeira foto 3x4

Quando eu era bem pequena, tipo 3 ou 4 anos de idade, eu tinha uma amiga, inseparável. O nome dela é Clarissa. Eu não sei o sobrenome dela, naquela época, sobrenomes não eram importantes para mim.

Nós realmente éramos do tipo inseparáveis. Dançávamos juntas na sala da minha casa todas as músicas dos discos da Xuxa. E algumas vezes fazíamos o impossível para que nossas irmãs mais velhas nos levassem junto às festinhas de aniversário dos amigos. Brincávamos de boneca, e de amarelinha. A gente se divertia muito juntas.

Clarissa é sem dúvida grande parte das boas memórias que eu tenho da minha infância. 

Quando eu me mudei da casa onde morava, coincidentemente ao mesmo tempo que a família da Clarissa também estava se mudando, foi super difícil para mim. Eu lembro o quanto eu chorei porque eu sabia que a Clarissa não ía mais estar tão perto de mim, e por mais que a gente se esforçasse, não conseguiríamos manter nossa amizade.  

Eu me lembro de estar chorando, no colo da minha mãe, falando sobre isso, e minha mãe tentava me consolar, dizendo que poderíamos visitar uma a outra. Meu argumento era de que eu era pequena demais para andar de ônibus sozinha, e que por isso não poderia visitar Clarissa sempre que eu quisesse. Minha mãe disse que eu cresceria rápido.

Nesta época eu tinha 6 anos de idade. Eu estava mudando de colégio, em função da mudança de bairro, e tive que tirar fotos 3x4 para fazer meu cadastro na nova escola. Eu dei uma dessas fotos de presente para a Clarissa.

O tempo passou, e minha previsão se concretizou: eu e a Clarissa nunca mais nos vimos depois de mudar para nossas novas casas.

No ano de 2000, durante a campanha política do Tarso Genro para prefeitura, em Porto Alegre, eu estava trabalhando para o Correio fazendo inscrições do vestibular dentro de um curso pre-vestibular chamado Mauá, em Porto Alegre. Naquele dia, que não me lembro bem qual era, tinha uma palestra com o Tarso Genro lá no Mauá. E eu fiquei para assistir. 

Encerrada a palestra, eu encontrei um rosto conhecido no elevador. Olhei para aquela estranha, e falamos uma o nome da outra, ao mesmo tempo. Coisa de filme. Sim, era a Clarissa. Trocamos um abraço, e alguma informação de como a vida andava e tudo. Naquela época ela estava engajada como militante da UJS (União da Juventude Socialista), e eu, naquele tempo petista, fazia panfletagem e ia a inúmeros comíssios e passeatas fazendo campanha para Tarso.

Bom, isso é tudo o que sei sobre a nova (agora já velha) Clarissa.

Depois do abraço, e das fofocas, Clarissa abre a carteira dela e me mostra uma foto que ela carregava até aqueles dias consigo: minha primeira foto 3x4, Fernanda, desdentada, 6 anos de idade, vestindo uma camisa de listrinhas vermelha e branca. Eu não tenho nenhuma foto dela. Mas ainda tenho ótimas lembranças.

As vezes eu me pergunto o que aconteceu com ela, e também como é engraçado a maneira com que o destino traz e leva pessoas de nossas vidas.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tem alguém em casa?

Uma das coisas que eu tenho percebido nesses poucos dias de Japão é que a Internet parece estar vazia por esses dias! A grande maioria das pessoas que eu conheço estão conectadas quando eu estou dormindo, ou vice-versa...

Boa desculpa para sentar a minha bunda na cadeira, e trabalhar um pouco. Vou tentar ser produtiva então. Não que eu normalmente não seja, mas é um novo estilo de trabalho. Sem piadinhas randômicas indo e voltando pelos tubos da Internet. Me sinto quase que como sozinha em casa, sabe? Provavelmente não, né? Quem se sente sozinho na Internet? Louca! :-P

Música. Tenho ouvido muita música por esses dias. Uma das novidades (para os meus ouvidos pelo menos) é Nine Inch Nails. Tem algumas coisas muito legais, muito fortes. Exemplo disso é uma música chamada Closer. Enjoy!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Big foot

Well, as some people already know, I arrived in Tokyo last Saturday. The weather here is awesome, if compared to Zurich. I went out wearing just a t-shirt and jeans. No jacket, no hat. It gave me a weird feeling of freedom.

While organizing my luggage for my month-and-a-half long trip, I decided not to bring summer shoes, and thought it would be cool to buy some over here. I do have a pretty international wardrobe, so why not?

As I said Saturday was a nice day, so we went walking around, looking for random stuff that I didn't bring from Switzerland. We passed by some shoes shop, where I learned that I am actually LARGE size for Japanese standards. How is that possible? My shoes size in Europe is 38, which is considered small!

So far, I haven't been able to find any shoes that a) I would wear, and b) would fit me, in the limited "special large sizes" selection at the shops. Here, the shoes sizes are in centimeters. My foot is 23,5 or 24cm, but it is considered too big! Most of the shops do not even have size 24 for most models.

I still have no shoes, but will keep on trying. Feels weird to have to search for stuff in the special "large sizes" section, though.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

the fear...

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear

Monday, February 9, 2009

Crazy for you - Adele

Found myself today singing out loud your name,
you said I'm crazy,
if I am I'm crazy for you.

Sometimes sitting in the dark wishing you were here
turns me crazy,
but it's you who makes me lose my head.

And every time I'm meant to be acting sensible
you drift into my head
and turn me into a crumbling fool.

Tell me to run and I'll race,
if you want me to stop I'll freeze,
and if you are me gonna leave, just hold me closer baby,
and make me crazy for you.
Crazy for you.

Lately with this state I'm in I can't help myself but spin.
I wish you'd come over,
send me spinning closer to you.

My oh my, how my blood boils, it's sweet taste for you,
strips me down bare
and gets me into my favourite mood.

I keep on trying, fighting these feelings away,
but the more I do,
the crazier I turn into.

Pacing floors and opening doors,
hoping you'll walk through
and save me boy,
because I'm too crazy for you.
Crazy for you

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Don't try so hard

If you're searching out for something -
Don't try so hard
If you're feeling kinda nothing -
Don't try so hard
When your problems seem like mountains
You feel the need to find some answers
You can leave them for another day
Don't try so hard
But if you fall and take a tumble -
It wont be far
If you fail you mustn't grumble -
Thank your lucky stars
Just savor every mouthful
And treasure every moment
When the storms are raging round you
Stay right where you are
Don't try so hard
Oooh don't take it all to heart
Its only fools they make these rules
Don't try so hard
One day you'll be a sergeant major
Oh you'll be so proud
Screaming out your bloody orders
Hey but not too loud
Polish all your shiny buttons
Dressed as lamb instead of mutton
But you never had to try
To stand out from the crowd
Oh what a beautiful world
Is this the life for me
Oh what a beautiful world
Its the simple life for me
Oh don't try so hard
Oh don't take it all to heart
Its only fools - they make these rules
Don't try so hard
Don't try so hard

Friday, January 16, 2009

Tourist traps (part 1)

O ser humano sempre impressiona, não? Uma das coisas que me impressionam quando eu viajo é a criatividade das pessoas que tentam ganhar dinheiro, de qualquer jeito, dos turistas que visitam os pontos turísticos mais populares do mundo. Então vou fazer uma trilha de posts somente sobre esse assunto. Divirtam-se, e caso nunca tenham experimentado alguma dessas (por vezes) amargas situações, prepare-se :)
  • Skip the line - Estávamos na fila para entrar no Coliseu, e muitas mulheres, a maioria jovens, bonitas falando em inglês com sotaque irlandês ou britânico chegavam perto de você e contavam como você poderia passar na frente de todo mundo, ganhar tempo, um tour de 40 minutos dentro do Coliseu e ainda um tour de graça pelo Palatino por somente 12 EUR por pessoa. Como seríamos um grupo, então ainda teríamos desconto de 2 EUR por pessoa no ticket. Então, como éramos 5 pessoas.... não aceitamos a oferta, entramos e adivinha? Lá dentro, os tours guiados, de 40 minutos, custam 4,50 EUR por pessoa, e o passeio no Palatino era de graça na compra do ticket para o Coliseu, para todo mundo.
  • Quando dissemos que não queríamos o tour, ainda na fila, elas começavam a ficar irritadas, e depois de um tempo o argumento era: "You came this far and will not understand what you're stepping on, without a guided tour, the Coliseum is just a pile of rocks" (você veio tão longe e não vai entender em cima do que você tá pisando, sem um tour guiado, o Coliseu nada mais é que um monte de escombros). Apelou né?
  • Happy New Year. A gift, take it! Agora é a vez da Fontana di Trevi. Estávamos lá, tirando fotos, felizes da vida, chega um homem e diz "feliz ano novo! pegue, é um presente!" e me atira 3 rosas na mão. Eu não tive opção, então segurei as rosas, mas tentei devolver e disse não obrigada. Ele meio que saiu, mas quando pensei que ele tinha mesmo ficado louco e me dado as flores, ele tinha ido em cima do Matt, um amigo que está viajando comigo, e falando "Some money, my friend." (algum dinheiro, meu amigo). Propositadamente, o cara que deu as flores estava tentando fazer isso escondido, super estranho. Quando ele viu que não ía conseguir nada de dinheiro, arrancou as flores da minha mão e atacou outros.
  • Would you like to sign up a petition against drugs? Era uma moça jovem. Eu disse que sim. Quando você começa a escrever seu nome no papel, vê que não era um abaixo assinado, é uma lista dizendo "eu também sou contra drogas, e doei X para a campanha", e elas pedem dinheiro. Enfim, marchamos com 1 EUR nessa.
  • Do you speak English? Muitas mulheres, todas vestidas iguais: saia longa, lenço na cabeça, em volta de quase todos monumentos de Paris. Elas chegam perto de você, perguntam se você fala inglês. Quando você diz que sim, elas abrem um papelzinho contando uma história triste, e pedindo o que??? Adivinha! Dinheiro :). Todo mundo agora responde "português" pra elas.
  • Achei um anel. Estávamos chegando na Torre Eiffel, quando um cara, que caminhava na direção oposta pra gente, se abaixa e fala "nossa, olha o que eu achei!". A gente olha na mão dele, ele tem um anel gigante, cor dourada, e diz "pode ficar pra você, não é meu". Ele testa o anel nas duas mãos, e não era mesmo dele o anel. Pelo menos não era ele quem estava usando. Aí ele entrega o anel na sua mão, e sai caminhando. Mas daí ele volta, e diz "já que eu estou deixando você levar o anel, você podia me dar uns 3 EUR pra um sanduíche". Quando ele disse isso, eu falei "então pega o anel, vende e come um sanduíche".
  • 1 Euro - Eiffel Tower. Muitos homens, com argolas gigantes, cheias de chaveiros da Torre Eiffel penduradas nelas, para vender. E torres de todos os tamanhos. Eles ficam gritando 1 Euro, 1 Euro, mas quando você chega perto, não consegue comprar mais que 2 chaveiros da torre por 2 EUR. Não se engane, o preço é 5 chaveiros por 1 EUR. É só não se deixar trapacear. As torres maiorzinhas, eles querem 5 EUR cada, mas o preço é 3 torres por 5 EUR.
  • I'm an artist! E o cara segura a ponta do nariz dele, e olha pra sua cara. Acho que ele queria fazer uma caricatura. Ele fazia exatamente o mesmo gesto para outras pessoas. Depois eu que sou estranha :)
  • Give me money, I have a cute animal, or many. Pessoas sentadas no chão, maltrapilhas, com animais muuuuuito bem cuidados e lindos, pedindo dinheiro. Decerto é pra pagar o pet shop, que aqueles bichinhos muito bem cuidados devem precisar.
  • Give me money. Eles não tem animais, nem olham pra sua cara, não dizem uma palavra sequer. Só estendem a canequinha. E tá sempre fazendo barulho de moedinha. Deve dar certo :)
Se tiver mais experiências do tipo, essa série de posts vai voltar :)