38 years old, 33 weeks pregnant, 23 days in isolation

This year my birthday was a lot different than what I imagined it would be. I thought I would be amongst friends and family, I had plans to use our beautiful high tea china (bought second hand on eBay) to make some nice little sandwiches and invite friends over for something fun and not alcoholic.

Needless to say that none of this happened.

After being very ill at the start of March, Mark and I have been living in as much isolation as possible, leaving the house only for walks, runs and bike rides solo besides food and doctors appointments.

Mark and I spent the whole day at home, and I tried to reduce as much as possible my meeting schedule to have a relaxing day. It was a day of ups and downs. I felt sad for the state of the world, afraid of what’s going to happen in the next months and how this affects our baby’s birth, and trying to prepare myself to a reality that I don’t know what will look like. Nobody can predict with how society will look like in two months time.

These are strange times, and the long term implications are still not very clear. I am unsure the world will come back to be a place of as much free transit as it has been for the past decades. It is unclear which of our freedoms will be re-established, and which ones are gone forever.

It is sad to hear about what’s happening in the countries I feel somewhat connected to: Brazil, Italy, UK, USA and Switzerland, this last one being home. There’s also some beauty seeing rich countries putting their people above economics, and just doing whatever they can to save as many as they can. It is also beautiful to see the answer to call for volunteers, the notes offering help to those in needs, and inspiring even though scary to see the courage of those who are risking their health and their lives to ensure the rest of us can stop the spread of the virus by staying home. 

I’ve been entertaining myself organising my home and my mind to welcome our first daughter into the world. In two months she will be here to see this world in whatever presentation it will be at that point. My plan for her arrival was to have family and friends around us, in a peaceful environment of love and community. Now it looks much more like it will be a solo flight for Mark and I to embark on, and hopefully learn with the experience and grow.

Back to my yesterday, I received a lot of messages from friends and family from all over the world. I am very grateful for that. My day ended with a cake baked by Mark and a nice hot bath.

May this new year come full of courage and hope. I think that’s the best gift I can ask for at the moment.

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